“I don’t think I can do this… It’s too painful.”  I stood there, my mouth moving; my brain frozen.  Did I really just say that?  After all those days I wished this would happen?  

“I don’t understand…I thought you wanted… Don’t you still care?”  He looked at me, hurt glazing over his eyes.

He reached out to touch me.  How long had I waited for that hand to take mine once again?  How long had I waited, silently, for his arms to wrap around me, hiding me from danger?  I needed him… I loved him…

Why was I pushing him away?

I wanted to feel him protecting me, I wanted to feel him hug my waist against him, to feel his forehead against mine.  I wanted to see him smile for me.

I backed away.  “Please, don’t…I can’t do this.  I love you, I really do.  Believe me… I just can’t do this.”

“Why…why can’t you do this?  I love you, too.  I’m not going to let anything happen this time.  I won’t let you go.  Never again.”  He smiled gently.  But, it didn’t help.  It only made it more clear to me that I couldn’t put both of us through everything again.

I shook my head.  Tears began to form in my eyes as he walked to me and laid his lips on my cheek.

For the last time.

Ever.

I smiled, weakly.  He moved his lips to my ear and whispered, “I will always love you.  Always.  Come find me if you ever change your mind.  I’ll be waiting.”  I closed my eyes, pressing everything about him into my memory.

“Goodbye.”  But, when I opened my eyes, he was already gone.